Quote of the Day

Joi Pearson- "Just because its raining outside doesn't mean rain on my parade!"

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What is the definition of cheating?

The traditional definition of cheating, or infidelity, is that one person in a committed relationship is physically involved with someone other than their spouse. Due to a number of factors, cheating behavior has been reclassified to include the traditional definition and a more contemporary definition, known as emotional infidelity. Emotional infidelity is defined as any infidelity that occurs through feeling or thought.

The primary difference between traditional cheating and emotional infidelity is actual, physical contact. Traditionally, cheating involves people meeting face to face, and then engaging in physical intimacy. With emotional infidelity, there may be a meeting, but it can occur on a cell phone or a computer. There may be physical activity involved, but it is conducted within the confines of separate locations; the people involved aren’t “actually” touching. Many of the people who are emotionally cheating don’t consider it to be infidelity. Their rationale is that, because there is no actual physical contact, the behavior can’t be considered cheating. Emotional infidelity is sometimes viewed as being harmless because it is more of a casual relationship than traditional cheating; however, the intimate nature of the communication, plus the emotional investment made by the people involved, places emotional infidelity on the same level as traditional cheating.

Lies break trust, and don’t think that just because you only tell part of the truth that this means you are not lying. Telling someone what they want to hear - or what you want them to hear, however founded in the truth, if it is not the complete truth, it is still a lie.

Cheating breaks trust. Cheating is the ultimate trust breaker - one it is difficult if not impossible to come back from, because not only was there a lie, but there was a total and complete abuse of faith and trust placed in a person.

Cheating usually comes with lies too - so not only does one cheat, but one lies about the cheating to cover up the indiscretion. Then the lies get bigger and the trust gets more abused - and this snowball effect comes into play - and it’s nearly impossible - if at all, to recover from cheating. No trust. No faith.

No chance to “allow without fear.”

If they have cheated - do you want to know? Is ignorance truly bliss this time? Can you ever look at the past the same if you realize that there was a break of trust there…will the memories ever be the same again? Would you want them to be the same?

When it comes right down to it - it’s not the cheating that hurts. It is the break of trust, the loss of faith, the changing of perspectives that destroys the heart and brings the anger. It is the realignment of perceptions that really stings the most, when you go back over everything that happened and wonder what was real and what was illusion. That’s what hurts.

There is nothing you did so wrong that warrants someone cheating on you. If the relationship is bad, if you did do something wrong, then the other person has the right to talk to you, to confront you, or if worse comes to worst, to leave you…but he or she doesn’t have the right to cheat.

Cheating is the cheater’s mistake - not yours. You did nothing wrong that deserve you having been cheated on. Even if you made mistakes in the relationship, even if you withheld intimacy, even if you and your partner fought constantly, there is nothing that justifies cheating - period.

Nothing.

And so we are back to the beginning all over again, back to the reason I am even writing this: Cheating?! Trust?! What is trust? To have confidence or faith in or to allow without fear.

The other party can leave, break it off, ask for a divorce, or do any number of other things in response to a relationship gone bad, but cheating is never an acceptable solution. So as the saying goes either “Piss or get off the pot” it is never a good thing to start a relationship, regardless of how it starts, if there you have trust issues. First, deal with the issues that you have or at least express them so that everyone can know what is going on. Define what you think “cheating” is to you, we all have different definitions, and we are all not going to put up with what the next man/woman might. Most importantly be expressive and honest with whatever is going on with you and whatever you have been through, it is the only way to be fair!

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Better with Time

Realizing that I like the switch better with time, I think it's grown on me now!♥ ♥
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My family in the Philippines!

This is a picture of my family in the Philippines. I miss but looking forward to my 2010 trip, maybe I'll get a month off this time!
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Wondering!

so when someone gets mad at you for something, are you suppose to get mad at them when they do exactly what they asked you not to do? do you say something? and how long do you think that you can hold out from saying something if you do think that one should say something?
just wondering how long this is going to last. . .

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Romance- Exhausted the possibilities!?

The other night ended up being a 'girls night' as it must of been a dedication to every love movie Sanaa Lathan has made; first up "Something New" and then "The Best Man." As we sat there watching we noticed that in the first movie they were in the bedroom with seemed like a million candles lit and he was painting her toe nails and in the second they were in the tub, rose petals filled their bath, candles were lit as well and it seemed like the 'Quiet Storm' was playing in the background!?

Where did these days go? Or are they still there and me and my girls are missing it? Or is this just what goes on in the 'movies'? We hear "you watch to much t.v" alot but is it wrong to expect to have 'some romance' in our lives?

"Love Jones" they had a 'hot topic' about romance and the verdict Darius Lovehall (aka Larenz Tate), came up with: "ROMANCE...is about the possibility of the thing. From the time when you first meet some fine ass woman... To the time you make love to her. From the time you first propose to her. To the time you say I do. When people who have been together for a long time say that the romance is dead....nuh uh......they just EXHAUSTED THE POSSIBILITIES!"
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Honesty!

I'm just wondering do you think that "honesty is the best policy?" and why?

I have had a lot of honesty to deal with lately and I must admit that some of it pissed me off and some of it made me really take a deep look at myself. Some things that I realized about myself, and can I be "honest," and say that I did not want to know or realize but others things I was happy to hear; But what do you do when you hear something that you do not want to hear? How do you take it all in and smile like you just did not hear what you heard?

And more importantly do you keep it all the way funky with the person that just dealt you the low blow to the gut and then the massive hit over the head for the knock out?

Just wondering!
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VENTING JUST CAUSE Old

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Halle and Nahla

Those who know me know that I ♥ Halle!!!! Her and Nahla are sooooo adorable together and I'm excited for her! She looks like a great mom, I'm sure looks are not deceiving! ♥ ♥
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ETERNAL BEING

I AM AN ETERNAL BEING WITH UNLIMITED POSSIBILITIES!

I WAS CREATED FOR A GREAT PURPOSE AND I HAVE A GREAT DESTINY!

I'LL LIVE THIS DAY FILLED WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT MYSELF, I'LL FLOW FROM WHO I REALLY AM ON THE INSIDE.

EVERYTHING GOD CREATED IS GOOD!

I'M FILLED WITH PURPOSE, STRENGTH, CREATIVITY, VERSATILITY AND ABILITY.

WHEN I HAVE GONE AS FAR AS I THINK THAT I CAN GO, GOD WILL TAKE ME THE REST OF THE WAY.

EVERYDAY I WILL CONTINUE TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF, MY FAMILY AND MY FRIENDS.

I WILL LOOK FORWARD TO THE FUTURE BUT WILL NEVER TAKE THE PRESENT FOR GRANTED!

I'LL LET THE PAST GO AND I WILL NOT HOLD ONTO THE THINGS THAT I CANNOT CHANGE!

MY FUTURE IS BRIGHT AND THERE IS NO NEED TO LET WHAT I CANNOT CONTROL DETOUR ME OR BLOCK MY BLESSINGS!

JP 1/2002
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B-Day Dinner

I might not be out often but when we do make it out we have a great time! Glad my girl had a good time at her ♥birthday♥, I wonder how young she is now!? More pics here!
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Shopping Spree for Free

I ♥ my new Alexander Mc Queen boots!!!!! ♥
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A Day in the Life Early A.M

Shout out to Nikki Blanco over @ Honey and Vinegar ♥ who told me about a year ago that I should do this and I didn't but .... well here goes now! :-) ♥
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Jennifer Hudson: "If This Isn't Love"

I ♥ this track..... Go J. Hud!!!!♥
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Happy Valentines Day!!!!

Hope that all my fellow bloggers have a great day! ♥ I know that many people think that this holiday is over-rated and I'm not mad at them for thinking that; if you are in a relationship you should show your loved ones that you love them everyday..... so if I might be referring to you then this is another day for you but if you are not who I am talking to put forth a little effort to make her/him feel loved. :-) ♥


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Valentine's Day

Some people disgust this holiday and some love this day... either way here is a site to help you come up with a few ideas on what to do for the one you LOVE-

My Dear Valentine! There are plenty of things that you can do but know that what matters the most is the thought that you put into any gift or experience.... Take a little time to think about what you want to do and make the most of it. It's not the money that is spent that makes us happy it's truly the thought that you put into it! ;-)

But know this it is only one day- If you love someone let them know everyday, as much as you can because this is what they need to know, tell them you appreciate them, that you care and show them in every way that you can! Overwhelm them with your love because they might not have anyone else that will :-)

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Nicholas Kirkwood

Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo, and Christian Louboutin - these are just a few of the legendary design houses that are able to make a woman's feet the sexist part of the body. You may just want to add British shoe designer Nicholas Kirkwood to that list.

Kirkwood's artistic ability to create sculptures of art has enabled him to work with the likes of Phillip Lim and Belstaff for their Spring 2008 Collection. And although he has collaborated with many, his own collection is nothing to shy away from. Kirkwood's collection combines a sense of fashion forward edginess with a sexy majestic quality.

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Happy Birthday Maestro!

Happy Birthday V!!!!!!
I hope that you have a great day; one full of happiness and joy! And that you a truly blessed today with love, laughs, friendship and family.... and a few gifts ;-)

Capricorn is one of the most stable and (mostly) serious of the zodiacal types. These independent, rock-like characters have many sterling qualities. They are normally confident, strong willed and calm. These hardworking, unemotional, shrewd, practical, responsible, persevering, and cautious to the extreme persons, are capable of persisting for as long as is necessary to accomplish a goal they have set for themselves. They are reliable workers in almost any profession they undertake. They are the major finishers of most projects started by the 'pioneering' signs; with firm stick-to-it-ness they quickly become the backbone of any company they work for.

Thanks Donna AKA Muzik Notes for this insight!

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I Wish . . .

i wish that things were oh so simple again like when i was a little girl, and all i needed to do for comfort was crawl up in my fathers lap as he would rub my back until i fell asleep.
i wish that i could pick up the phone and tell him all my problems as he gives me "the daddy version" of life's advice.
i wish that i could look him in the eyes and know that with his magical spells, powers and potions that it would all be better.
i wish that i could see him smile just one more time.
i wish that GOD gave me and him more time, so that i could have many more memories.
i wish that you were here to run errands with me, open my door, pump my gas you know the little things.
i wish you were here to laugh with me, smile with me and cry with me.
i wish you were here to listen to me and guide me through this crazy, mixed up world.
i wish that i could see my mom and dad, laugh, hold hands and cry together.
i wish that i was at my brother's baseball game and when i looked out into the crowd i saw my father with his video camera.
i wish that that special someone had to ask my father for his blessing to ask for my hand in marriage.
i wish that one day he would be walking me down that aisle and giving me away.
i wish that he would be able to spend time with my children, he could read them stories and rock them to sleep like he did me.
i wish that life did not have to end so abruptly for him.
most importantly, i wish that i had one more day with him, one more hour or just a few more minutes. . . but all i can do is wish because the reality is i lost my BEST FRIEND years ago and nobody will never ever take his place!
i miss you dad and i love you ever so dearly. . . shedding tears wishing you here!

Sept. 8, 2007

I lost my father in 04 and I must admit it was the worst thing that could of ever happened to me, I would never wish this type of pain onto anyone not even my worst enemy. I just thought that I would share in my loss to anyone who has every lost a parent.... know that it will not be easy but with prayer and time you can come to grips with it! GOD will never put something on you that you cannot handle, pray and stay close to him! Also, for anyone who does not have a close bond with your family try your best to get it right, nobody is perfect so whatever was wrong let it go and grow closer together. GOD bless! :-) Read More!

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How Cute . . . (with tears of JOY streaming down my face)

In this picture they look like they are trying to do a model face off... lol... they are about as cute as Will and Jada in a photo, you know those couples that just seem too freaking cute to be together well here's another one, lol!

Seriously I am happy for them, more about their wedding bliss check out Necole Bitchie.com: Lance and Eva A Love Tale Read More!

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