Involve Yourself

You can't just sit around & complain about life! You need to go out & take life for everything that you make it & if you don't like something you be the change that you want to see!!!!!!!!

I love when people say that they feel left out or uninvolved in what is going on in the world, community, church, politics, their relationship, their friends or life in general....

Hint, Hint ;)
IF YOU WANT TO FEEL INVOLVED, GET INVOLVED!

There is so much that we can ALL do to make life as we see it better & at the end of the day if you aren't going to change then you can't complain.... Because life gives you a deck a card, you deal yourself your hand, you know what you are working with & if you don't throw your cards in and deal yourself more, well at least don't complain about it ;)

Happy Holidays!

♥ ♥
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Say What You Want

I'm a BIG advocate of saying what it is that you want.... I have never been a fan of biting my tongue so when it comes to my LIFE, my policy is say what you want; a closed mouth doesn't get fed! And nobody will know what you want if you never say anything!

Be vocal! Don't hurt anyone's feelings if you can avoid it but know that you are the one in control of your LIFE and if you let others in it then they can deal with you or kick rocks! I totally think that if someone loves you (this could be your man, your friends or your family) then they will stick through all the good and the bad....

So I love you baby, I'm proud of you and I want you in my life FOREVER!
So let's make it happen, let's get it!!!!!!

♥ ♥ me + you= we ;-) ♥ ♥

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"Damaged"

The below article is quoted entirely from The Fly Guy Chronicles




I am writing this because I'm interested in your take on his take (lol) so please comment:

Before I begin, let me make one thing very clear: I actually like Danity Kane (well, about as much as a guy can safely like a girl group without raising the collective eyebrows of his boys.) So this shouldn’t be viewed as me hating on them in any way, shape or form. I just happen to have a deep seated disdain for their latest single, “Damaged.” Why? Because as catchy as the tune may be, the underlying message of the song speaks to a long-standing issue that many women have when it comes to relationships. Well, I think it’s time I addressed and corrected this problem once and for all. Let’s take a look at the lyrics in question before I begin.

The Lyrics:

Do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do you know how to patch up a wound, tell me
Are you patient, understanding?
Cuz I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart

I tried every remedy and nothing seems to work for me

Baby, this situation’s driving me crazy
And I really want to be your lady
But the one before you left me

Damaged
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged, so damaged
And you can blame the one before

So how you gonna fix?

The Fly Guy Perspective:

Okay, so let me get this straight, because I don’t want to misquote you…

So you were in a relationship that in the end left you more jacked up than Mike Tyson’s credit score. But instead of just taking the time to work through your issues and heal your broken heart, you now want to start something new with me. To make matters worse, you’re expecting me to solve those same problems which should have been fixed before you even entertained an “us.”

Do you understand how that sounds?

That’s like me buying a plasma TV from Best Buy, getting it broken, and then taking it to Circuit City and calmly asking them, “So how are you going to fix this?”

They’d probably kick me out of the store right? My point exactly.

That same type of reasoning should be applied to your relationships. There are far too many women who expect…no demand that the new guy pay restitution for the sins of the previous one. Trust me, we have all experienced the hurt, harm and pain that comes with relationships. But if I can’t get credit for the good things that your last man did, then how dare you ask me to be responsible for all of the bad things that he did???

There needs to be some sort of compromise ladies.

So if you still insist on us fixing the damage caused by him, then here are a few of our demands that must be met. I respectfully submit these on behalf of the members of NAAFUM (The National Association for the Advancement of Fed Up Men)

Our Demands:

1. A tax break on every dinner he ever treated you to (example…taking you to McDonald’s will now carry the same value as treating you to a five-star restaurant).
2. Once a week, we can decline participation in any conversation concerning our feelings, and it can’t be held against us.
3. We no longer have to sit at the mall and watch you try on the SAME shoe in every color. (Truth be told, beige and cream look exactly alike to us.)
4. All major championship series and games will now be considered national holidays where our focus on said games can’t and won’t be interrupted by you (this includes any NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL, NCAA, Professional Boxing, PGA, Arena League Football, or any other
sporting event that may come up.)

The Conditions:

If you cannot meet these demands, then there is another alternative:

You can stop asking us how we’re going to fix the pain of your past.

Instead, just be open and honest about the issues that you’re working through, and if we so desire, then we can work on them together. I guarantee you that more men will be willing to step up to the plate, and be there for you. But that will only happen if we’re given free will to make our own decision, instead of having that expectation unfairly placed upon us. So what do you say…do we have a deal?
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Airing sh@t out!

List about 20 things that you have wanted to say to someone, but never could, and never will. Don't say who they are, just write. And yes, you can put more than one statement for one specific person. And you can write about however many people you want to.

1. I love you! I love you! And I vow to tell you everyday possible more than once!

2. When you look at me, what do you really see? Because I hope you know that there is way more to me, then the make up, the fake lashes, and the lights, the camera and the pictures.

3. Just stop judging me! I mean shit you got issues to and I'm not sitting here looking at you sideways, I mean damn! I know that I'm not perfect and I never claimed to be!

4. What are friends for again?

5. So you make new friends and keep the old, that's what the song says right? So what the hell is your problem?

6. Can't you tell that I am just not interested? Or are you so wrapped up in your own world that you are missing that the whole time you are talking I'm not even listening anymore

7. Thank you for always loving me even when I'm mean, sarcastic, rude, negligent and any other bad word!

8. You know just because we have different priorities does not mean that our friendship does not exist. The phone works both ways you know! And if you and I aren't the friends that we were all those years ago that's cool with me just don't be fake about it. I think we are grown enough to know when we should go our separate ways

9. Chicks will do you just as bad if you let em.... glad I decided to let go of those chicks; good luck!

10. When I ask one simple question why can't you answer with a simple response? All of those excuses are not helping your situation in my eyes, think about what you are about to say and answer the question.... d@mn!

11. You're sorry! You're sorry! Yeah you are right you are SORRY!

12. Some friends just aren't friends and I'm glad I realized it sooner than later.

13. I love you! I love you! I love you! Did I mention that already?

14. If I looked like you I would hate me too!

I couldn't list 20.... guess I'm at a better place in my life than I was the first time that I wrote this.... wow! I guess I am growing :-)

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Quote of the Day

Joi Pearson- "Just because its raining outside doesn't mean rain on my parade!"

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Quote of the Day

Lane Kirkland- "Don't believe that winning is really everything. It's more important to stand for something. If you don't stand for something, what do you win?" Joseph Lane Kirkland (March 12, 1922 – August 14, 1999) was a US labor union leader who served as President of the AFL-CIO for over sixteen years.

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Quote of the Day

Edward de Bono - "Argument is meant to reveal the truth, not to create it."
Edward de Bono (born May 19, 1933, in Malta) is a Maltese physician, author, inventor, and consultant. He is best known as the originator of the term lateral thinking (structured creativity) and the leading proponent of the deliberate teaching of thinking in schools.
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Quote of the Day

Bernard Baruch - "Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why."Bernard Mannes Baruch (pronounced /bəˈɹuk/) (August 18, 1870 – June 20, 1965) was a Jewish-American financier, stock market speculator, statesman, and presidential advisor. After his success in business, he devoted his time toward advising Democratic presidents Woodrow Wilson and Franklin D. Roosevelt on economic matters. He is well known for having coined the term "Cold War" in 1947 to describe relations between the United States and the Soviet Union from the mid-1940s to the early 1990s.

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I Can Endure

IS THAT THE FINISH LINE
I'M STRONG AND I CAN ENDURE- I WILL SEE THE FINISH LINE, I WILL END THIS RACE!
I'VE BEEN FACED WITH TOUGH TIMES BUT NOBODY CAN BREAK ME, 2 YEARS AGO GOD TOOK MY BEST FRIEND AND I HAVE STILL FOUND PEACE. . .
EVERYDAY'S A NEW DAY FILLED WITH BLESSINGS AND OPPORTUNITY- I WILL FOCUS AND STAY TRUE TO ME! I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE MY GOALS AND DREAMS A REALITY. MY VISION IS CLEAR, MY PURPOSE IS KNOWN: GOD I THANK YOU FROR GIVING ME A CLEAR UNDERSTANDING! I THANK YOU FOR BLESSING ME WITH A GIFT THAT IS ALL MY OWN; MY DIFFERENCE IN THIS WORLD HAS ALREADY BEEN SET BY YOU NOW ALL I NEED TO DO IS "MAKE IT HAPPEN!"
GOD, YOU ARE ON MY TEAM AND YOU ARE ALL I NEED- I AM A WINNER, AND YOU ARE MY PROVIDER. KNOWING THAT REMINDS ME THAT MY FAITH AND MY REWARDS ARE ALREADY THERE. YOU ARE THE TRUTH AND I AM A MESSENGER SENT INTO THE WORLD WITH YOUR MESSAGE. EVERY MOMENT I WILL SMILE, AND BE HAPPY BECAUSE YOU HAVE SET MY MIND AT EASE!

JP 9/07/06
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Mid Week Service

Some go to church on holidays only, some might go every once and awhile; I'm proud of me for going the past few Sundays and tonight! So here is a recap for the ones that might need this:

Pastor Sharon Crank "When I Get Through This" Luke 22:31-32

"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to have you, to sift you like wheat, but I have pleaded in prayer for you that your faith should not completely fail."

Some of us have gone through the same battles and the same struggles just at different intensities. If you are going through a tough time in your life you need to understand that GOD "Must be up to something!" These trials are to help us draw closer to him and further away from the worldly things; we go through these things to push us to the next dimension not the next level. The difference is the next level is just going from one floor to the another, staying in the same place but when you are taken to the next dimension then you are pushed out of where you are thus you are in a different place! We want to be taken to the next dimension, so STAY FAITHFUL and HOLD ONTO YOUR FAITH!

Satan wants to 'sift' (shake, strain and seperate one substance from another) us from GOD; this is his only goal in life! Satan wants us to be disloyal to GOD, he wants us to prove that we are fake and discredit GOD by using us. We need to refer to 1 Peter 5:8 "Be careful- watch out for attacks from Satan, your great enemy. He prowls around like a hungry, roaring lion, looking for some victim to tear apart." And remember that GOD has already 'pleaded in prayer for you that your faith should not completely fail!' So remember that despite anything and everything you need to TRUST IN GOD!

Be blessed and remember that what you are going through now does not represent your future! ;-)♥ ♥
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What is the definition of cheating?

The traditional definition of cheating, or infidelity, is that one person in a committed relationship is physically involved with someone other than their spouse. Due to a number of factors, cheating behavior has been reclassified to include the traditional definition and a more contemporary definition, known as emotional infidelity. Emotional infidelity is defined as any infidelity that occurs through feeling or thought.

The primary difference between traditional cheating and emotional infidelity is actual, physical contact. Traditionally, cheating involves people meeting face to face, and then engaging in physical intimacy. With emotional infidelity, there may be a meeting, but it can occur on a cell phone or a computer. There may be physical activity involved, but it is conducted within the confines of separate locations; the people involved aren’t “actually” touching. Many of the people who are emotionally cheating don’t consider it to be infidelity. Their rationale is that, because there is no actual physical contact, the behavior can’t be considered cheating. Emotional infidelity is sometimes viewed as being harmless because it is more of a casual relationship than traditional cheating; however, the intimate nature of the communication, plus the emotional investment made by the people involved, places emotional infidelity on the same level as traditional cheating.

Lies break trust, and don’t think that just because you only tell part of the truth that this means you are not lying. Telling someone what they want to hear - or what you want them to hear, however founded in the truth, if it is not the complete truth, it is still a lie.

Cheating breaks trust. Cheating is the ultimate trust breaker - one it is difficult if not impossible to come back from, because not only was there a lie, but there was a total and complete abuse of faith and trust placed in a person.

Cheating usually comes with lies too - so not only does one cheat, but one lies about the cheating to cover up the indiscretion. Then the lies get bigger and the trust gets more abused - and this snowball effect comes into play - and it’s nearly impossible - if at all, to recover from cheating. No trust. No faith.

No chance to “allow without fear.”

If they have cheated - do you want to know? Is ignorance truly bliss this time? Can you ever look at the past the same if you realize that there was a break of trust there…will the memories ever be the same again? Would you want them to be the same?

When it comes right down to it - it’s not the cheating that hurts. It is the break of trust, the loss of faith, the changing of perspectives that destroys the heart and brings the anger. It is the realignment of perceptions that really stings the most, when you go back over everything that happened and wonder what was real and what was illusion. That’s what hurts.

There is nothing you did so wrong that warrants someone cheating on you. If the relationship is bad, if you did do something wrong, then the other person has the right to talk to you, to confront you, or if worse comes to worst, to leave you…but he or she doesn’t have the right to cheat.

Cheating is the cheater’s mistake - not yours. You did nothing wrong that deserve you having been cheated on. Even if you made mistakes in the relationship, even if you withheld intimacy, even if you and your partner fought constantly, there is nothing that justifies cheating - period.

Nothing.

And so we are back to the beginning all over again, back to the reason I am even writing this: Cheating?! Trust?! What is trust? To have confidence or faith in or to allow without fear.

The other party can leave, break it off, ask for a divorce, or do any number of other things in response to a relationship gone bad, but cheating is never an acceptable solution. So as the saying goes either “Piss or get off the pot” it is never a good thing to start a relationship, regardless of how it starts, if there you have trust issues. First, deal with the issues that you have or at least express them so that everyone can know what is going on. Define what you think “cheating” is to you, we all have different definitions, and we are all not going to put up with what the next man/woman might. Most importantly be expressive and honest with whatever is going on with you and whatever you have been through, it is the only way to be fair!

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I Wish . . .

i wish that things were oh so simple again like when i was a little girl, and all i needed to do for comfort was crawl up in my fathers lap as he would rub my back until i fell asleep.
i wish that i could pick up the phone and tell him all my problems as he gives me "the daddy version" of life's advice.
i wish that i could look him in the eyes and know that with his magical spells, powers and potions that it would all be better.
i wish that i could see him smile just one more time.
i wish that GOD gave me and him more time, so that i could have many more memories.
i wish that you were here to run errands with me, open my door, pump my gas you know the little things.
i wish you were here to laugh with me, smile with me and cry with me.
i wish you were here to listen to me and guide me through this crazy, mixed up world.
i wish that i could see my mom and dad, laugh, hold hands and cry together.
i wish that i was at my brother's baseball game and when i looked out into the crowd i saw my father with his video camera.
i wish that that special someone had to ask my father for his blessing to ask for my hand in marriage.
i wish that one day he would be walking me down that aisle and giving me away.
i wish that he would be able to spend time with my children, he could read them stories and rock them to sleep like he did me.
i wish that life did not have to end so abruptly for him.
most importantly, i wish that i had one more day with him, one more hour or just a few more minutes. . . but all i can do is wish because the reality is i lost my BEST FRIEND years ago and nobody will never ever take his place!

i miss you dad and i ♥ love ♥ you ever so dearly. . . shedding tears wishing you here!

Sept. 8, 2007

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Believe

Here is a great poem taken from the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.

"If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but you think you can't,
It is almost certain you won't

If you think you'll lose, you're lost,
For out in the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow's will
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!"
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New lease on life!

I have always been amazed at people when a New Year rolls around and we have this long list of resolutions and then a few days into the New Year, they have already forgotten about the list! So I have decided that instead of coming up with a list on how I am going to change a few things that I would come up with a new way to live: "Imma do me!" -Rocko (thanks!)

I have always been the type to think of others first, even sparing my last to make sure that someone else has but times have changed! The bad part is when you are like this and people do not share your same views then you get the short, the very short end of the stick and I refuse to be stuck with the short stick anymore!

I watched "I Am Legend" the other night and Will had made a statement about the night walkers that they had lost their human instinct; people who take advantage of others are like night walkers, no remorse! The sad part is that we live in a society of people who have accepted this type of treatment and even those who add to the seeming never ending cycle!

I have a lot of life to live and the future is extremely bright for me! "The world is my oyster," and I'm hungry!

I will continue to do for those who do for me but those who:

1. Are constantly disappointing me
2. Constantly lying and trying to tell me what I want to hear
3. Who are full of crap
4. Who are selfish
5. Who complain way too much
6. Who are too busy to be a true friend
7. Who are way to needy
8. Who are not honest with me. . .

I'm sorry but find a new sponsor! I have closed down the doors to my SAA (Sucker's Anonymous Association) program. . .

I choose to live my life differently and I refuse to let those who are not for me bring me down! I am not calling names, nor do I need to; Those who are for me know who they are and those who are for me but secretly are against me (Don't think that I do now know who you are)!

I'm not mad nor am I blogging this because I was treated any particular type of way I just know that enough is enough! Things are going to be different this time around!!!!
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It's Not As Bad As It Seems

Calm Down

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God."

So many times we make situations more than they are due to our anxiety, CALM DOWN ! God has your life under control; He knows how to handle even the seemingly complex situation with ease.

Stop having pity parties and talking about your business all the time; don't you know that the power of death and life is in the tongue! Read More!
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My family in the Philippines!

This is a picture of my family in the Philippines. I miss but looking forward to my 2010 trip, maybe I'll get a month off this time!
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Wondering!

so when someone gets mad at you for something, are you suppose to get mad at them when they do exactly what they asked you not to do? do you say something? and how long do you think that you can hold out from saying something if you do think that one should say something?
just wondering how long this is going to last. . .

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Romance- Exhausted the possibilities!?

The other night ended up being a 'girls night' as it must of been a dedication to every love movie Sanaa Lathan has made; first up "Something New" and then "The Best Man." As we sat there watching we noticed that in the first movie they were in the bedroom with seemed like a million candles lit and he was painting her toe nails and in the second they were in the tub, rose petals filled their bath, candles were lit as well and it seemed like the 'Quiet Storm' was playing in the background!?

Where did these days go? Or are they still there and me and my girls are missing it? Or is this just what goes on in the 'movies'? We hear "you watch to much t.v" alot but is it wrong to expect to have 'some romance' in our lives?

"Love Jones" they had a 'hot topic' about romance and the verdict Darius Lovehall (aka Larenz Tate), came up with: "ROMANCE...is about the possibility of the thing. From the time when you first meet some fine ass woman... To the time you make love to her. From the time you first propose to her. To the time you say I do. When people who have been together for a long time say that the romance is dead....nuh uh......they just EXHAUSTED THE POSSIBILITIES!"
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Honesty!

I'm just wondering do you think that "honesty is the best policy?" and why?

I have had a lot of honesty to deal with lately and I must admit that some of it pissed me off and some of it made me really take a deep look at myself. Some things that I realized about myself, and can I be "honest," and say that I did not want to know or realize but others things I was happy to hear; But what do you do when you hear something that you do not want to hear? How do you take it all in and smile like you just did not hear what you heard?

And more importantly do you keep it all the way funky with the person that just dealt you the low blow to the gut and then the massive hit over the head for the knock out?

Just wondering!
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Can We Handle the Truth?

I was watching a great movie "A Few Good Men" and in that movie Jack Nicholson says, "Because you cannot handle the truth. . ."


After watching this movie I noticed that a friend of mine had a few questions about the truth and I responded by stating the line from the movie. . . this was her response:

"your status is interesting and right on point with mine at the moment. i feel you overall but to take your quote/thought to the next level, who do you think the truth hurts more the person who feels the need to lie, or the people surrounding the liar? sometimes i think the truth may sting for a moment for those surrounding people, but the biggest battle is within the liar because reality was too much to handle to begin with. just my thought anyway. . ."

and my response back to her:

"yeah the biggest battle is within the liar but 9 times out 10 they have been lying for so long that they do not know what reality is and that is what hurts the most. there are some people that are in this world and there whole life is a lie but we don't know it. i would rather know the truth but then again can i handle it? i have asked myself this over and over and i know that it depends on the current situation and of course who is delivering the honesty! either way it is going to hurt and sting like a bee bite but then maybe i can base the rest of my life on the truth and not the lies that you have so blatantly made me believe. . .
just my thoughts. . . good response thanks!"

So I thought that our discussion opened up a few questions in my mind - so I would pose the questions for open discussion, what do you think?

Can we handle the truth or can we not handle the truth

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