Say What You Want

I'm a BIG advocate of saying what it is that you want.... I have never been a fan of biting my tongue so when it comes to my LIFE, my policy is say what you want; a closed mouth doesn't get fed! And nobody will know what you want if you never say anything!

Be vocal! Don't hurt anyone's feelings if you can avoid it but know that you are the one in control of your LIFE and if you let others in it then they can deal with you or kick rocks! I totally think that if someone loves you (this could be your man, your friends or your family) then they will stick through all the good and the bad....

So I love you baby, I'm proud of you and I want you in my life FOREVER!
So let's make it happen, let's get it!!!!!!

♥ ♥ me + you= we ;-) ♥ ♥

Read More!
♥ ♥
Read more...

"Damaged"

The below article is quoted entirely from The Fly Guy Chronicles




I am writing this because I'm interested in your take on his take (lol) so please comment:

Before I begin, let me make one thing very clear: I actually like Danity Kane (well, about as much as a guy can safely like a girl group without raising the collective eyebrows of his boys.) So this shouldn’t be viewed as me hating on them in any way, shape or form. I just happen to have a deep seated disdain for their latest single, “Damaged.” Why? Because as catchy as the tune may be, the underlying message of the song speaks to a long-standing issue that many women have when it comes to relationships. Well, I think it’s time I addressed and corrected this problem once and for all. Let’s take a look at the lyrics in question before I begin.

The Lyrics:

Do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do you know how to patch up a wound, tell me
Are you patient, understanding?
Cuz I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart

I tried every remedy and nothing seems to work for me

Baby, this situation’s driving me crazy
And I really want to be your lady
But the one before you left me

Damaged
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged, so damaged
And you can blame the one before

So how you gonna fix?

The Fly Guy Perspective:

Okay, so let me get this straight, because I don’t want to misquote you…

So you were in a relationship that in the end left you more jacked up than Mike Tyson’s credit score. But instead of just taking the time to work through your issues and heal your broken heart, you now want to start something new with me. To make matters worse, you’re expecting me to solve those same problems which should have been fixed before you even entertained an “us.”

Do you understand how that sounds?

That’s like me buying a plasma TV from Best Buy, getting it broken, and then taking it to Circuit City and calmly asking them, “So how are you going to fix this?”

They’d probably kick me out of the store right? My point exactly.

That same type of reasoning should be applied to your relationships. There are far too many women who expect…no demand that the new guy pay restitution for the sins of the previous one. Trust me, we have all experienced the hurt, harm and pain that comes with relationships. But if I can’t get credit for the good things that your last man did, then how dare you ask me to be responsible for all of the bad things that he did???

There needs to be some sort of compromise ladies.

So if you still insist on us fixing the damage caused by him, then here are a few of our demands that must be met. I respectfully submit these on behalf of the members of NAAFUM (The National Association for the Advancement of Fed Up Men)

Our Demands:

1. A tax break on every dinner he ever treated you to (example…taking you to McDonald’s will now carry the same value as treating you to a five-star restaurant).
2. Once a week, we can decline participation in any conversation concerning our feelings, and it can’t be held against us.
3. We no longer have to sit at the mall and watch you try on the SAME shoe in every color. (Truth be told, beige and cream look exactly alike to us.)
4. All major championship series and games will now be considered national holidays where our focus on said games can’t and won’t be interrupted by you (this includes any NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL, NCAA, Professional Boxing, PGA, Arena League Football, or any other
sporting event that may come up.)

The Conditions:

If you cannot meet these demands, then there is another alternative:

You can stop asking us how we’re going to fix the pain of your past.

Instead, just be open and honest about the issues that you’re working through, and if we so desire, then we can work on them together. I guarantee you that more men will be willing to step up to the plate, and be there for you. But that will only happen if we’re given free will to make our own decision, instead of having that expectation unfairly placed upon us. So what do you say…do we have a deal?
Read more...

What is the definition of cheating?

The traditional definition of cheating, or infidelity, is that one person in a committed relationship is physically involved with someone other than their spouse. Due to a number of factors, cheating behavior has been reclassified to include the traditional definition and a more contemporary definition, known as emotional infidelity. Emotional infidelity is defined as any infidelity that occurs through feeling or thought.

The primary difference between traditional cheating and emotional infidelity is actual, physical contact. Traditionally, cheating involves people meeting face to face, and then engaging in physical intimacy. With emotional infidelity, there may be a meeting, but it can occur on a cell phone or a computer. There may be physical activity involved, but it is conducted within the confines of separate locations; the people involved aren’t “actually” touching. Many of the people who are emotionally cheating don’t consider it to be infidelity. Their rationale is that, because there is no actual physical contact, the behavior can’t be considered cheating. Emotional infidelity is sometimes viewed as being harmless because it is more of a casual relationship than traditional cheating; however, the intimate nature of the communication, plus the emotional investment made by the people involved, places emotional infidelity on the same level as traditional cheating.

Lies break trust, and don’t think that just because you only tell part of the truth that this means you are not lying. Telling someone what they want to hear - or what you want them to hear, however founded in the truth, if it is not the complete truth, it is still a lie.

Cheating breaks trust. Cheating is the ultimate trust breaker - one it is difficult if not impossible to come back from, because not only was there a lie, but there was a total and complete abuse of faith and trust placed in a person.

Cheating usually comes with lies too - so not only does one cheat, but one lies about the cheating to cover up the indiscretion. Then the lies get bigger and the trust gets more abused - and this snowball effect comes into play - and it’s nearly impossible - if at all, to recover from cheating. No trust. No faith.

No chance to “allow without fear.”

If they have cheated - do you want to know? Is ignorance truly bliss this time? Can you ever look at the past the same if you realize that there was a break of trust there…will the memories ever be the same again? Would you want them to be the same?

When it comes right down to it - it’s not the cheating that hurts. It is the break of trust, the loss of faith, the changing of perspectives that destroys the heart and brings the anger. It is the realignment of perceptions that really stings the most, when you go back over everything that happened and wonder what was real and what was illusion. That’s what hurts.

There is nothing you did so wrong that warrants someone cheating on you. If the relationship is bad, if you did do something wrong, then the other person has the right to talk to you, to confront you, or if worse comes to worst, to leave you…but he or she doesn’t have the right to cheat.

Cheating is the cheater’s mistake - not yours. You did nothing wrong that deserve you having been cheated on. Even if you made mistakes in the relationship, even if you withheld intimacy, even if you and your partner fought constantly, there is nothing that justifies cheating - period.

Nothing.

And so we are back to the beginning all over again, back to the reason I am even writing this: Cheating?! Trust?! What is trust? To have confidence or faith in or to allow without fear.

The other party can leave, break it off, ask for a divorce, or do any number of other things in response to a relationship gone bad, but cheating is never an acceptable solution. So as the saying goes either “Piss or get off the pot” it is never a good thing to start a relationship, regardless of how it starts, if there you have trust issues. First, deal with the issues that you have or at least express them so that everyone can know what is going on. Define what you think “cheating” is to you, we all have different definitions, and we are all not going to put up with what the next man/woman might. Most importantly be expressive and honest with whatever is going on with you and whatever you have been through, it is the only way to be fair!

Read More!

Read more...

Wondering!

so when someone gets mad at you for something, are you suppose to get mad at them when they do exactly what they asked you not to do? do you say something? and how long do you think that you can hold out from saying something if you do think that one should say something?
just wondering how long this is going to last. . .

Read More!

Read more...

Romance- Exhausted the possibilities!?

The other night ended up being a 'girls night' as it must of been a dedication to every love movie Sanaa Lathan has made; first up "Something New" and then "The Best Man." As we sat there watching we noticed that in the first movie they were in the bedroom with seemed like a million candles lit and he was painting her toe nails and in the second they were in the tub, rose petals filled their bath, candles were lit as well and it seemed like the 'Quiet Storm' was playing in the background!?

Where did these days go? Or are they still there and me and my girls are missing it? Or is this just what goes on in the 'movies'? We hear "you watch to much t.v" alot but is it wrong to expect to have 'some romance' in our lives?

"Love Jones" they had a 'hot topic' about romance and the verdict Darius Lovehall (aka Larenz Tate), came up with: "ROMANCE...is about the possibility of the thing. From the time when you first meet some fine ass woman... To the time you make love to her. From the time you first propose to her. To the time you say I do. When people who have been together for a long time say that the romance is dead....nuh uh......they just EXHAUSTED THE POSSIBILITIES!"
READ MORE!
♥ ♥
Read more...

Honesty!

I'm just wondering do you think that "honesty is the best policy?" and why?

I have had a lot of honesty to deal with lately and I must admit that some of it pissed me off and some of it made me really take a deep look at myself. Some things that I realized about myself, and can I be "honest," and say that I did not want to know or realize but others things I was happy to hear; But what do you do when you hear something that you do not want to hear? How do you take it all in and smile like you just did not hear what you heard?

And more importantly do you keep it all the way funky with the person that just dealt you the low blow to the gut and then the massive hit over the head for the knock out?

Just wondering!
Read More!

Read more...

I Apologize

So hard to say I apologize but when I do you act like it didn't come out of my mouth,
You heard me but did you "hear" me?

Sometimes we will be on the same page and other times we will not,
So understand that it is hard for me to apologize sometimes,
To acknowledge you are wrong it isn't always easy-

But its necessary!
♥ ♥
Read more...

Stop the Presses

Gucci Man and Mya @ Velvet in Atlanta....
What the Hell?! Saw it ain't so.... please tell me that this is a joke! Some people just won't go sit down.... and will date anyone to STAY in the public eye!

I saw this article on Sandra Rose click for the whole scoop! Props to celebrity photographer Prince Williams of ATLPICS.net

Read More!
♥ ♥
Read more...

Say What You Want

I'm a BIG advocate of saying what it is that you want.... I have never been a fan of biting my tongue so when it comes to my LIFE, my policy is say what you want; a closed mouth doesn't get fed! And nobody will know what you want if you never say anything!

Be vocal! Don't hurt anyone's feelings if you can avoid it but know that you are the one in control of your LIFE and if you let others in it then they can deal with you or kick rocks! I totally think that if someone loves you (this could be your man, your friends or your family) then they will stick through all the good and the bad....

So I love you baby, I'm proud of you and I want you in my life FOREVER!
So let's make it happen, let's get it!!!!!!

♥ ♥ me + you= we ;-) ♥ ♥

Read More!
♥ ♥
Read more...

Jennifer Hudson: "If This Isn't Love"

I ♥ this track..... Go J. Hud!!!!♥
Read More!
♥ ♥
Read more...

Disrespect

Noun 1. disrespect - an expression of lack of respect
Verb 1. disrespect - show a lack of respect for

What do you do if you feel like you are being disrespected? Do you get mad and keep it to yourself? Or do you stand your ground and let the person/people know how you are feeling?

I have choose to “learn from the situation!” I have noticed that this is going to happen and I can either put the energy into it or I can place the energy somewhere more productive! I know that I’m going to get disrespect from all over, this is the world that we live in, but I also know that I have the power to let it effect me in a positive or negative way.

When I am disrespected by someone I will remind myself that if I become offended or feel disrespected then it is only my ego that is offended/feeling disrespected.

Depending on the type of situation, this can be easy or difficult so I have begun to develop an awareness and catch myself if I become offended and bring myself back from that negative place. I will see it as a matter of practice as it is a skill that needs developement.

I will keep my heart open and smile (”the kill them with kindness”) therefore changing the energetic dynamic within myself and hopefully into the situation. I am the one who holds the power and I can turn it round into a positive and productive situation.

However, I am still human and sometimes I succumb to the common failures, but through developing an awareness off my reaction to such energy it is becoming less of a personal issue and more of an opportunity to practice, develop, grow and enrich both myself and my “offenders!”

So if you feel you have to disrespect me and my loved ones, do what you feel is necessary just know that I am above it all. . . Maybe one day, when you are above it all, you can meet me in the clouds!Read More!

Read more...

Cute Couples in Hollywood! Part 1

I have always loved to see "married" couples in love so here is my post to show off a few couples that are in love and are "married!" I pray that their relationship continues to go on strong for many more years to come!

FYI I can't post a picture of every happy couple so here are just a few!
Read more...

Another Great Finale "Grey's Anatomy" Season 4

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a "Grey's Anatomy" ADDICT and all I can say is we have ended another awesome season with an amazing finale "Freedom"! I guess the writer's block ended right on time because the show lost no momentum and took their eager patiently awaiting audience on another ride- An awesome ride at that! This ride was better than the hottest ride at Six Flags or Busch Gardens, thanks Shonda Rhimes (executive producer)!

Here goes a little of the shows hot topics: A guy covered in concrete because of a bet, Rebecca's slits her wrist, Alex calls Izzy a "Bitch!", Cristina tells Yang to back the hell up, Mc. Steamy's trying to turn over a new leaf and not be so much of a male whore (giving Callie a play by play of her and Dr. Hahn together while they are "together" Hahn and Callie turn into "girlfriends" while Mc. Steamy watches them kiss for like ever, Miranda sees the bigger picture and turns the clinic back over to Izzy, Alex begs Izzy for one night, Lexie reads the employee files and gives George the best pep talk ever which in turn gives him the balls to tell the chief I want another chance at the test, the chief tells Adele he is moving back home and. . .

Meredith and Derek finally get the clinical trial right with a successful brain tumor reduction and Derek returns to the land to find Meredith on the property, having laid out the plans for the house he wants to build in candles!
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Meredith has seemed to finally understand that all the mess that she has gone through leads her to a better place in her own skin and a better place in her love life! Thanks Ma, for all the failures that her mother was to her she can now see how to get it right herself. . . hopefully, all she has to do is not stand in her own way!

Meredith: Where have you been?! I've been waiting and waiting for you! And I did this stupid, embarrassing, humiliating, corny thing. And I was just gonna tell you that, this over here is our kitchen and this is our living room, and over there that's the room our kids could play. I had this whole thing about I was gonna build us a house, but I don't build houses because I'm a surgeon. And now I'm here feeling like a lame ass loser. I got all whole and healed and you don't show up. And now it's all ruined because you took so long to come home! And I couldn't even find that bottle of champagne ... (Derek holds up the bottle and smiles) ... I want us to be "extraordinary" together instead of "ordinary" apart
Read more...

Dating Quiz: Are you strong enough to bear being dumped?

I'm only doing this for fun. . . So are you? I'm interested and I'm sure you might be as well so take a few minutes and see what the results say!

I'm practical, what are you?



Read more...

Grey's Anatomy: Season 3 "Didn't We Almost Have it All" Mc Dreamy to Meredith

MEREDITH: "If you want to break up with me, so that you can see other women, just do it. Don't tell me you met another woman. Just end it, if that's what you want."

DEREK: "I can't."

MEREDITH: "Sure you can, here's how it goes. Meredith, I don't want to see you anymore. Meredith, I don't love you anymore."

DEREK: "Meredith, I do love you! Don't you see? Don't you understand? You're the love of my life. I can't leave you. But you're constantly leaving me. You walk away when you want, you come back when you want. Not everyone, not your friends, but you leave me. So, I'm asking you, if you don't see a future with us. Please... please just end it because I'm in it. Put me out of my misery."

MEREDITH: "I... I can't. Christina's getting married. I have to go... to make sure she's getting married."

DEREK: "Meredith?

MEREDITH: "I really need to make sure she gets down that aisle."

DEREK: "Let's go, we're running late."

... There she goes leaving again ...


"Love is letting those we love to be perfectly themselves and not twisting them to fit our own image otherwise we only love the reflection of ourselves!"
~Unknown
Read more...

Womanizers... Here we go again, lol!

The word “Casanova” evolved from an Italian womanizer who had over a hundred one night stands. Casanova was a lady killer from Venice; he would wine and dine women, charm them, make them feel beautiful and irresistible, take them to bed, and … move on to the next woman the next day.
More to come...
Read more...