Monday, August 3


The below article is quoted entirely from The Fly Guy Chronicles

I am writing this because I'm interested in your take on his take (lol) so please comment:

Before I begin, let me make one thing very clear: I actually like Danity Kane (well, about as much as a guy can safely like a girl group without raising the collective eyebrows of his boys.) So this shouldn’t be viewed as me hating on them in any way, shape or form. I just happen to have a deep seated disdain for their latest single, “Damaged.” Why? Because as catchy as the tune may be, the underlying message of the song speaks to a long-standing issue that many women have when it comes to relationships. Well, I think it’s time I addressed and corrected this problem once and for all. Let’s take a look at the lyrics in question before I begin.

The Lyrics:

Do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do you know how to patch up a wound, tell me
Are you patient, understanding?
Cuz I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart

I tried every remedy and nothing seems to work for me

Baby, this situation’s driving me crazy
And I really want to be your lady
But the one before you left me

I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged, so damaged
And you can blame the one before

So how you gonna fix?

The Fly Guy Perspective:

Okay, so let me get this straight, because I don’t want to misquote you…

So you were in a relationship that in the end left you more jacked up than Mike Tyson’s credit score. But instead of just taking the time to work through your issues and heal your broken heart, you now want to start something new with me. To make matters worse, you’re expecting me to solve those same problems which should have been fixed before you even entertained an “us.”

Do you understand how that sounds?

That’s like me buying a plasma TV from Best Buy, getting it broken, and then taking it to Circuit City and calmly asking them, “So how are you going to fix this?”

They’d probably kick me out of the store right? My point exactly.

That same type of reasoning should be applied to your relationships. There are far too many women who expect…no demand that the new guy pay restitution for the sins of the previous one. Trust me, we have all experienced the hurt, harm and pain that comes with relationships. But if I can’t get credit for the good things that your last man did, then how dare you ask me to be responsible for all of the bad things that he did???

There needs to be some sort of compromise ladies.

So if you still insist on us fixing the damage caused by him, then here are a few of our demands that must be met. I respectfully submit these on behalf of the members of NAAFUM (The National Association for the Advancement of Fed Up Men)

Our Demands:

1. A tax break on every dinner he ever treated you to (example…taking you to McDonald’s will now carry the same value as treating you to a five-star restaurant).
2. Once a week, we can decline participation in any conversation concerning our feelings, and it can’t be held against us.
3. We no longer have to sit at the mall and watch you try on the SAME shoe in every color. (Truth be told, beige and cream look exactly alike to us.)
4. All major championship series and games will now be considered national holidays where our focus on said games can’t and won’t be interrupted by you (this includes any NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL, NCAA, Professional Boxing, PGA, Arena League Football, or any other
sporting event that may come up.)

The Conditions:

If you cannot meet these demands, then there is another alternative:

You can stop asking us how we’re going to fix the pain of your past.

Instead, just be open and honest about the issues that you’re working through, and if we so desire, then we can work on them together. I guarantee you that more men will be willing to step up to the plate, and be there for you. But that will only happen if we’re given free will to make our own decision, instead of having that expectation unfairly placed upon us. So what do you say…do we have a deal?



i like the song!!!!!!! and i think that they are a great girl group and yes, i do have the CD! and yes, i’m playing it in my IPOD, WHAT?! lol! and they aren’t 12 they are in there early 20’s and truth be told there were some of us that were damaged by that age too! i took the song as i got some sh@t with me, i like you but i want you to know ahead of time that and if you want to continue then that’s cool but i just wanted you to know in advance. (this is classic she is setting you up for the blow up. . . look i like you and i’m hurt so if i just flip out one day don’t take it personally, lol) i mean who wouldn’t want to know if you might have a few issues/baggage, mario winans (”i don’t want to know” but that’s another topic). i do think that women and men should take a little time for themselves after each relationship but just because you want to take time doesn’t mean that GOD is going to give you that time. what if in your “pursuit to happiness” you were taking the time you felt you needed and someone great walks into your life, what are you going to say “bad timing?” he/she might be just what the doctor ordered to “help fix it!” though i can understand what you mean when they say, “how ya gonna fix it?” because technically it is not his problem but i think that it was catchy and they needed something cute and sassy to say, i don’t think that they meant it literally.

Sanu said...

i totally agree with this article... i truly believe no one should attempt to delve into a new relationship without healing from the old one .. for the mere fact that you carry your old baggage into the new and by so doing have sort of for all practical reasons put a death sentence on this new relationship... the heart like anything else needs time to heal gain its strength and distinguish between what's real and what's a temporarysolution, well, not even temporary but more distraction to an already volatile situation.
Good one, thanks for sharing

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

u write well. Im just driving by. and nice blog? do chk me out sometimes and if ulike what u read, please leave a comment and do blog roll me and i will be back...and i have a book release party on April 24 from 7 to 10 at the MBar on Peters street, do accept my invite if u can make it

Anonymous said...

Wow! That's great! Keep it up... love the blogging!