Saturday, November 10

i wish . . .

i wish that things were oh so simple again like when i was a little girl, and all i needed to do for comfort was crawl up in my fathers lap as he would rub my back until i fell asleep.
i wish that i could pick up the phone and tell him all my problems as he gives me "the daddy version" of life's advice.
i wish that i could look him in the eyes and know that with his magical spells, powers and potions that it would all be better.
i wish that i could see him smile just one more time.
i wish that GOD gave me and him more time, so that i could have many more memories.
i wish that you were here to run errands with me, open my door, pump my gas you know the little things.
i wish you were here to laugh with me, smile with me and cry with me.
i wish you were here to listen to me and guide me through this crazy, mixed up world.
i wish that i could see my mom and dad, laugh, hold hands and cry together.
i wish that i was at my brother's baseball game and when i looked out into the crowd i saw my father with his video camera.
i wish that that special someone had to ask my father for his blessing to ask for my hand in marriage.
i wish that one day he would be walking me down that aisle and giving me away.
i wish that he would be able to spend time with my children, he could read them stories and rock them to sleep like he did me.
i wish that life did not have to end so abruptly for him.
most importantly, i wish that i had one more day with him, one more hour or just a few more minutes. . . but all i can do is wish because the reality is i lost my BEST FRIEND years ago and nobody will never ever take his place!
i miss you dad and i love you ever so dearly. . . shedding tears wishing you here!

Sept. 8, 2007


Jafari said...

Whats up Joi?

That was a beautiful poem. You have been such a good friend to me for several years, and I have always admired your hard work and focus. Your dad would be soooo proud of you right now!!



Anonymous said...

...a special Happy Birthday to your beloved Father. Your wish on "his" birthday expresses so much love coming from a daughter towards her father. But its not just love, theres cravings and hurt with it all. As much sorrow and pain I can feel for you...I couldnt have anything to say...but besides the sadness that appears through your wishes of having your father beside you, a presence of something else exist through all of that which is so beautiful. Although your Father is no longer existing physically on Earth through this lifetime...him himself lives on infinitely. Death is a given when birth is presented and birth is celebrated while death is grieved.... This world is "...crazy, mixed up..." like u making an exit could be an escape from life's suffering which shouldn't be a bad thing. Your Father is still very much alive, and possibly more alive than ever. He lives through you and the love you have for him still this very day can be expressed so lively and is so powerful it brings you to tears. But I encourage a big genuine smile after those tears for your Father has given you enough to carry on through this lifetime...he's given u genuine sincere feeling of love...there's no greater gift. He might not rub your back anymore or pump your gas, but I believe his form of presence now through you can be felt in a more extreme measure. The great thing, you can call out his name wherever and whenever you need...knowing that he's not forgotten in your thoughts, I can say he is the happiest angel looking down so proudly at the daughter he shared his life with. So in response to you...Joi, "I wish" you can overcome the saddness and pain by seeing the beauty that I've recognized in expressing the love towards your Father...have a blessed day on your Father's Birthday...
-Source Unknown. . . but thanks very much your response is beautiful and though it was only for my eyes to see I feel it necessary that everyone should be able to read just how power words are.

Anonymous said...

thank you for letting me read your diary... its good to put those feelings down

Mike said...

I've actually read your blog more then a few times. July 29 was when my pop moved on. The strangest thing was that it's only been over 2 months but it easily feels like two years...

It's amazing but I'm sure that you know what I'm talking about. Thanks for sharing.